Krishna Conscious discussion “CONJUGAL LOVE.‏”


P39

As soon as one becomes a devotee of the Lord, he also has a direct relationship with the Lord. That is a very elaborate subject matter, but briefly it can be stated that a devotee is in a relationship with the Supreme Personality of Godhead in one of five different ways:
1. One may be a devotee in a passive state;
2. One may be a devotee in an active state;
3. One may be a devotee as a friend;
4. One may be a devotee as a parent;
5. One may be a devotee as a conjugal lover.
Arjuna was in a relationship with the Lord as friend. Of course there is a gulf of difference between this friendship and the friendship found in the material world. This is transcendental friendship, which cannot be had by everyone.
(Bhagavad-Gita——introduction).

In the spiritual world there are five kinds of relationships with the Supreme Lord—śānta, dāsya, sakhya, vātsalya and mādhurya. The perverted reflections of these rasas are found in the material world. Land, home, furniture and other inert material objects are related in śānta, or the neutral and silent sense, whereas servants work in the dāsya relationship. The reciprocation between friends is called sakhya, the affection of a parent for a child is known as vātsalya, and the affairs of conjugal love constitute mādhurya. These five relationships in the material world are distorted reflections of the original, pure sentiments, which should be understood and perfected in relationship with the Supreme Personality of Godhead under the guidance of a bona fide spiritual master. In the material world the perverted rasas bring frustration. If these rasas are reestablished with Lord Kṛṣṇa, the result is eternal, blissful life.
(Sri Caitanya Caritamrta——1:1:56——purport).

The Lord appears in different incarnations—as a fish, tortoise and boar, as Paraśurāma, Lord Rāma, Buddha and so on—to reciprocate the different appreciations of living entities in different stages of evolution. The conjugal relationship of amorous love called parakīya-rasa is the unparalleled perfection of love exhibited by Lord Kṛṣṇa and His devotees.
(Sri Caitanya Caritamrta——1:4:34——purport).

The transcendental mellow relished by the gopīs in Vraja is superexcellently featured in Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī. Mature assimilation of the transcendental humor ofconjugal love is represented by Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī, whose feelings are incomprehensible even to the Lord Himself. The intensity of Her loving service is the highest form of ecstasy. No one can surpass Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī in relishing the qualities of the Lord through this supreme transcendental mellow. Therefore the Lord Himself agreed to assume the position of Rādhārāṇī in the form of Lord Śrī Gaurāṅga. He then relished the highest position of parakīya-rasa, as exhibited in the transcendental abode of Vraja.
(Sri Caitanya Caritamrta——1:4:50——purport).

Lord Caitanya’s heart was full of the feelings of Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī, and His appearance resembled Hers. Svarūpa Dāmodara has explained His attitude as rādhā-bhāva-mūrti, the attitude of Rādhārāṇī. One who engages in sense gratification on the material platform can hardly understand rādhā-bhāva, but one who is freed from the demands of sense gratification can understand it. Rādhā-bhāva must be understood from the Gosvāmīs, those who are actually controllers of the senses. From such authorized sources it is to be known that the attitude of Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī is the highest perfection of conjugal love, which is the highest of the five transcendental mellows, and it is the complete perfection of love of Kṛṣṇa.
(Sri Caitanya Caritamrta——1:4:106——purport).

In the beginning one should very regularly chant Śrī Gaurasundara’s holy name and then chant the holy name of Lord Nityānanda. Thus one’s heart will be cleansed of impure desires for material enjoyment. Then one can approach Vṛndāvana-dhāma to worship Lord Kṛṣṇa. Unless one is favored by Lord Caitanya and Nityānanda, there is no need to go to Vṛndāvana, for unless one’s mind is purified, he cannot see Vṛndāvana, even if he goes there. Actually going to Vṛndāvana involves taking shelter of the Six Gosvāmīs by reading the Bhakti-rasāmṛta-sindhu, Vidagdha-mādhava, Lalita-mādhava and the other books that they have given. In this way one can understand the transcendental loving affairs between Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa. Kabe hāma bujhaba se yugala-pirīti. The conjugal love between Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa is not an ordinary human affair; it is fully transcendental. In order to understand Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa, worship Them and engage in Their loving service, one must be guided by Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu, Nityānanda Prabhu and the Six Gosvāmīs, Lord Caitanya’s direct disciples.
(Sri Caitanya Caritamrta——1:8:31——purport).

The conjugal love between Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa, which is called yugala-pīriti, is not understandable by mundane scholars, artists or poets. It is simply to be understood by devotees who strictly follow in the footsteps of the Six Gosvāmīs. Sometimes so-called artists and poets try to understand the love affairs of Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa, and they publish cheap books of poetry and pictures on the subject. Unfortunately, however, they do not understand the transcendental affairs of Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa even to the smallest degree. They are simply meddling in a matter in which they are not fit even to enter.
(Sri Caitanya Caritamrta——1:17:304——purport).

To explain the topmost quality of conjugal love, Śrīla Kṛṣṇadāsa Kavirāja Gosvāmī gives the example of the material elements—sky, air, fire, water and earth. In the sky (space) there is the quality of sound. Similarly, in air there are the qualities of sound and touch. In fire, there are three qualities—sound, touch and form. In water there are four qualities—sound, touch, form and taste. Finally, in earth there are all five qualities—sound, touch, form, taste and also smell. Now, one can see that the quality of the sky is in all—namely in air, fire, water and earth. In earth we can find all the qualities of material nature. The same can be applied to the rasa known as mādhurya-rasa, or conjugal love. In conjugal love there are the qualities of neutrality, servitorship, fraternity and parental affection, as well as those of conjugal love itself. The conclusion is that through conjugal love the Lord is completely satisfied.
Conjugal love (mādhurya-rasa) is also known as śṛṅgāra-rasa. It is the conclusion of Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam that in the complete combination of loving service to the Lord—namely in conjugal love—the Supreme Lord fully agrees to be under the control of the devotee. The highest form of conjugal love is represented by Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī; therefore in the pastimes of Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa we can see that Kṛṣṇa is always subjugated by Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī’s influence.
(Sri Caitanya Caritamrta——2:8:88——purport).

The very sweet attraction of conjugal love increases through affection, counterlove, love, attachment, subattachment, ecstasy and highly advanced ecstasy (mahābhāva). The platform of mahābhāva includes rūḍha and adhirūḍha. These platforms are possible only in conjugal love. Advanced ecstasy is found in Dvārakā, whereas highly advanced ecstasy is found among the gopīs.
(Sri Caitanya Caritamrta——2:23:57——purport).

Apart from these sixty transcendental qualities, Kṛṣṇa has an additional four transcendental qualities, which are not manifested even in the personality of Nārāyaṇa. These are: (1) Kṛṣṇa is like an ocean filled with waves of pastimes that evoke wonder within everyone in the three worlds. (2) In His activities of conjugal love, He is always surrounded by His dear devotees who possess unequaled love for Him. (3) He attracts the minds of all three worlds with the melodious vibration of His flute. (4) His personal beauty and opulence are beyond compare. No one is equal to Him, and no one is greater than Him. Thus the Personality of Godhead astonishes all living entities, both moving and nonmoving, within the three worlds. He is so beautiful that He is called Kṛṣṇa.
(Sri Caitanya Caritamrta——2:23:82-83——translation).

Every living entity, beginning from Brahmā, the first-born living being within the material world, down to the insignificant ant, desires to relish some sort of taste derived from sense perceptions. These sensual pleasures are technically called rasas. Such rasas are of different varieties. In the revealed scriptures the following twelve varieties of rasas are enumerated: (1) raudra (anger), (2) adbhuta (wonder), (3) śṛṅgāra (conjugal love), (4) hāsya (comedy), (5) vīra (chivalry), (6) dayā (mercy), (7) dāsya (servitorship), (8) sakhya (fraternity), (9) bhayānaka (horror), (10) bībhatsa (shock), (11) śānta (neutrality), (12) vātsalya (parenthood).
(Srimad Bhagavatam——1:1:3——purport).

The sum total of all these rasas is called affection or love. Primarily, such signs of love are manifested in adoration, service, friendship, paternal affection, and conjugal love. And when these five are absent, love is present indirectly in anger, wonder, comedy, chivalry, fear, shock and so on. For example, when a man is in love with a woman, the rasa is called conjugal love. But when such love affairs are disturbed there may be wonder, anger, shock, or even horror. Sometimes love affairs between two persons culminate in ghastly murder scenes. Such rasas are displayed between man and man and between animal and animal. There is no possibility of an exchange or rasa between a man and an animal or between a man and any other species of living beings within the material world. The rasas are exchanged between members of the same species. But as far as the spirit souls are concerned, they are one qualitatively with the Supreme Lord. Therefore, the rasas were originally exchanged between the spiritual living being and the spiritual whole, the Supreme Personality of Godhead. The spiritual exchange or rasa is fully exhibited in spiritual existence between living beings and the Supreme Lord.
(Srimad Bhagavatam——1:1:3——purport).

When a devotee is completely purified, he becomes anyābhilāṣitā-śūnya. In other words, all of his material desires become zero, being burnt to ashes, and he exists either as the Lord’s servant, friend, father, mother or conjugal lover. Because one thinks constantly in this way, one’s present material body and mind are fully spiritualized, and the needs of one’s material body completely vanish from one’s existence. An iron rod put into a fire becomes warmer and warmer, and when it is red hot it is no longer an iron rod but fire. Similarly, when a devotee constantly engages in devotional service and thinks of the Lord in his original Kṛṣṇa consciousness, he no longer has any material activities, for his body is spiritualized. Advancement in Kṛṣṇa consciousness is very powerful, and therefore even during this life such a devotee has achieved the shelter of the lotus feet of the Lord. This transcendental ecstatic existence of a devotee was completely exhibited by Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu.
(Srimad Bhagavatam——7:7:36——purport).

In the fifth stage, called madhura-rati, there is a transcendental exchange of conjugal love between the lover and the beloved. It is at this stage that Kṛṣṇa and the damsels of Vraja glanced lovingly at one another, for on this platform there is an exchange of glances, movements of the eyebrows, pleasant words, attractive smiles, etc.
(Teachings of Lord Caitanya).

One who can fix his mind on Kṛṣṇa without deviation attains śānta-rasa, the steadfast position in Kṛṣṇa consciousness. One in śānta-rasa exhibits two main qualities: unflinching faith in Kṛṣṇa, and the cessation of all material desires. These specific characteristics of śānta-rasa—unflinching faith in Kṛṣṇa and cessation of all desires not connected with Kṛṣṇa—are common to all other rasas as well, just as sound is present not only in sky, where it is produced, but also in all the other elements—air, fire, water and earth. So these two characteristics of śānta-rasa are also present in dāsya-rasa (servitorship), sakhya-rasa (fraternity), vātsalya-rasa (parental affection) and madhura-rasa (conjugal love).
(Teachings of Lord Caitanya).

The Lord instructed Śrīla Rūpa Gosvāmī to write the transcendental literature named Bhakti-rasāmṛta-sindhu, the science of devotional service, and indicate therein the substance of the five transcendental relationships with the Lord—śānta-, dāsya-, sakhya-, vātsalya- and madhura-rasa. It is explained in that great literature how the transcendental relationship of śānta-rasa, taking the shape of unflinching faith in Kṛṣṇa, is further developed into dāsya-rasa with the spirit of service, and then to sakhya-rasa, or undeterred fraternity, and further to the transcendental platform of parental love, wherein one feels himself to be maintaining the Lord. All these transcendental relationships culminate on the highest platform, conjugal love (madhura-rasa), wherein they all exist simultaneously.
(Teachings of Lord Caitanya).

There are also special flavors experienced in friendship with the Supreme Lord, and these are manifested by friends such as Subala, whose devotion increases up to the point of bhāva. The different rasas are also divided into two kinds of ecstasy, called yoga and viyoga, or meeting and separation. In the rasas of friendship and parenthood, the feelings of meeting and separation are various.
The situations known as rūḍha (advanced) and adhirūḍha (highly advanced) are possible only in the rasa of conjugal love. Conjugal love exhibited by the queens at Dvārakā is called rūḍha, and conjugal love exhibited at Vṛndāvana by the damsels of Vraja is called adhirūḍha. The highest perfections of adhirūḍha affection in conjugal love involve meeting (mādana) and separation (mohana). In the ecstasy of mādana there is kissing, and in the ecstasy of mohana there are udghūrṇā (unsteadiness) and citra-jalpa (varieties of mad emotional talks). There are ten varieties of citra-jalpa, examples of which are given in Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam (10.47.12–21), in a portion known as the Bhramara-gītā. Udghūrṇā, a symptom of separationis also a symptom of transcendental insanity. In that transcendental insanity one thinks that he himself has become the Supreme Personality of Godhead. In such an ecstasy, he imitates the symptoms of Kṛṣṇa in different ways.
(Teachings of Lord Caitanya).

Thus Kṛṣṇa and Rādhārāṇī are both transcendentally qualified, and They attract one another. But Rādhārāṇīs transcendental attractiveness is greater than Kṛṣṇa’s, for Her attractiveness is the transcendental taste in conjugal love. Similarly, there are transcendental tastes in servitorship, friendship and other relationships with Kṛṣṇa. These can be described with reference to the context of the Bhakti-rasāmṛta-sindhu.
Persons who have been thoroughly cleansed by devotional service and are always joyful, being situated in elevated consciousness, who are very much attached to studying Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam, who are always cheerful in the association of devotees, who have accepted the lotus feet of Kṛṣṇa as the ultimate shelter of their lives, and who are pleased to perform all details of devotional service—such devotees have in their pure hearts the transcendental ecstasy of attachment, which has been developed through old and new reformatory practices.
(Teachings of Lord Caitanya).

The word bhakti can be used in ten different ways. One of these is sādhana-bhakti, or occupational devotional service. The other nine are varieties of prema-bhakti, love of Godhead. Those who are situated in the neutral position attain perfection up to love of Godhead. Similarly, those who are situated in the relationship of master and servant attain love of Godhead to the stage of attachment. Those who are related in friendship attain love of God to the point of fraternity. Those who are in love with God as His parents are elevated to the point of transcendental emotion. But only those who are related with the Supreme in conjugal love can experience the highest of ecstasies. These are some of the different meanings for the word bhakti.
(Teachings of Lord Caitanya).

There is a specific difference between the pure devotee and the confidential devotee. Different potencies of the Lord are engaged in serving the Supreme Lord in different transcendental relationships. They are situated in conjugal love, in parental affection, in friendship and in servitude. By judging impartially, one can find that the internal potencies of the Supreme Lord who are engaged in conjugal love with the Lord are the best of all devotees. Thus both internal devotees and confidential devotees are attracted by the conjugal love of the Supreme Absolute Truth. These are the most confidential devotees of Lord Caitanya. Other pure devotees, who are more or less attached to Śrī Nityānanda Prabhu and Advaita Prabhu, are attracted by other transcendental relationships, such as parental affection, friendship and servitorship. When such devotees are very much attached to the activities of Lord Caitanya, they at once become confidential devotees in conjugal love with the Supreme Lord.
(Teachings of Lord Caitanya).

In the Skanda Purāṇa there is a statement about submission unto the lotus feet of the Lord. It is said there that those who are sober devotees can offer their submission to Kṛṣṇa in the following three ways: (1) samprārthanātmikā, very feelingly offering prayers; (2) dainya-vodhikā, humbly submitting oneself; (3) lālasā-mayī, desiring some perfectional stage. This desiring some perfectional stage in spiritual life is not sense gratification. When one realizes something of his constitutional relationship with the Supreme Personality of Godhead, he understands his original position and wants to be reinstated in this position, either as friend, servant, parent or conjugal lover of Kṛṣṇa. That is called lālasā-mayī, or very eagerly desiring to go to one’s natural position. This lālasā-mayī stage of submission comes in the stage of perfect liberation, which is technically called svarūpa-siddhi, when the living entity understands, by perfect spiritual advancement and revelation, his original relationship with the Lord.
(Nectar of Devotion).

Devotional service following in the footsteps of the gopīs of Vṛndāvana or the queens at Dvārakā is called devotional service in conjugal love. This devotional service in conjugal love can be divided into two categories. One is indirect conjugal love, the other direct. In both of these categories, one has to follow the particular gopī who is engaged in such service in Goloka Vṛndāvana. To be directly attached to the Supreme Personality of Godhead in conjugal love is technically called keli. This keli performance means to directly join with the Supreme Personality of Godhead. There are other devotees who do not wish direct contact with the Supreme Person, but who relish the conjugal love affairs of the Lord with the gopīs. Such devotees enjoy simply by hearing of the activities of the Lord with the gopīs.
(Nectar of Devotion).

This development of conjugal love can be possible only with those who are already engaged in following the regulative principles of devotional service, specifically in the worship of Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa in the temple. Such devotees gradually develop a spontaneous love for the Deity, and by hearing of the Lord’s exchange of loving affairs with the gopīs, they gradually become attracted to these pastimes. After this spontaneous attraction becomes highly developed, the devotee is placed in either of the above-mentioned categories.
This development of conjugal love for Kṛṣṇa is not manifested in women only. The material body has nothing to do with spiritual loving affairs. A woman may develop an attitude for becoming a friend of Kṛṣṇa, and, similarly, a man may develop the feature of becoming a gopī in Vṛndāvana. How a devotee in the form of a man can desire to become a gopī is stated in the Padma Purāṇa as follows: In days gone by there were many sages in Daṇḍakāraṇya. Daṇḍakāraṇya is the name of the forest where Lord Rāmacandra lived after being banished by His father for fourteen years.
(Nectar of Devotion).

Conjugal love is divided into two classifications—namely, conjugal love as husband and wife and conjugal love as lover and beloved. One who develops conjugal love for Kṛṣṇa as a wife is promoted to Dvārakā, where the devotee becomes the queen of the Lord. One who develops conjugal love for Kṛṣṇa as a lover is promoted to Goloka Vṛndāvana, to associate with the gopīs and enjoy loving affairs with Kṛṣṇa there. We should note carefully, however, that this conjugal love for Kṛṣṇa, either as gopī or as queen, is not limited only to women. Even men can develop such sentiments, as was evidenced by the sages of Daṇḍakāraṇya. If someone simply desires conjugal love, but does not follow in the footsteps of the gopīs, he is promoted to association with the Lord at Dvārakā.
In the Mahā-kūrma Purāṇa it is stated, “Great sages who were the sons of fire-gods rigidly followed the regulative principles in their desire to have conjugal love for Kṛṣṇa. As such, in their next lives they were able to associate with the Lord, the origin of all creation, who is known as Vāsudeva, or Kṛṣṇa, and all of them got Him as their husband.”
(Nectar of Devotion).

Above even the humor of love between Kṛṣṇa and His parents is the relationship of conjugal love. The Lord and the young gopīs exhibit this in different ways—glancing, moving the eyebrows, speaking very sweet words and exchanging smiles.
There is a statement in Govinda-vilāsa to this effect: “Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī was looking for Kṛṣṇa very anxiously and almost disappointedly.” When there is such an indirect expression ofconjugal love, there is smiling, astonishment, enthusiasm, lamentation, anger, dread and sometimes ghastliness. These seven exchanges of conjugal love form another state of ecstatic love.
In a direct relationship of conjugal love, there is laughter, astonishment, chivalry, lamentation, anger and dread, but there is no ghastliness. These expressions are considered to be great reservoirs of pleasure. When these seven kinds of ecstatic loving exchanges are manifested, they attain the status of steadiness by which the taste of conjugal love expands.
(Nectar of Devotion).

There are six features of conjugal love affairs, called peacemaking, picking a quarrel, going to meet one’s lover, sitting together, separation and support. Lord Kṛṣṇa expanded an empire of these six features, of which He was the ruling prince. Somewhere He was picking quarrels with the young girls, somewhere He was scratching them with the nails of parrots, somewhere He was busy going to visit the gopīs, and somewhere He was negotiating through cowherd friends to take shelter of the gopīs.
(Nectar of Devotion).

Transcendental pleasure derived from devotional service can be divided into two groups: direct devotional service and indirect devotional service. Direct devotional service is divided into five transcendental humors or flavors, and indirect devotional service is divided into seven transcendental humors. Direct devotional services are as follows: neutrality, servitude, fraternity, paternity and conjugal love. Indirect devotional service is divided into laughter, compassion, anger, chivalry, dread, astonishment and ghastliness. Devotional service can therefore be divided into twelve types, each of which has a different color. The colors are white, multicolored, orange, red, light green, gray, yellow, off-whitish, smoky, pink, black and cloudy. The twelve different kinds of transcendental humors are controlled by different incarnations of God, such as Kapila, Mādhava, Upendra, Nṛsiṁha, Nanda-nandana, Balarāma, Kūrma, Kalki, Rāghava, Bhārgava, Varāha and Matsya.
(Nectar of Devotion).

When one is mature in devotional service and is a realized soul, he can know his own eternal relationship with Kṛṣṇa. One should not artificially try to establish some relationship. In the premature stage it is sometimes found that a lusty, conditioned person will artificially try to establish some relationship with Kṛṣṇa in conjugal love. The result of this is that one becomes prākṛta-sahajiyā, or one who takes everything very cheaply. Although such persons may be very anxious to establish a relationship with Kṛṣṇa in conjugal love, their conditioned life in the material world is still most abominable. A person who has actually established his relationship with Kṛṣṇa can no longer act on the material plane, and his personal character cannot be criticized.
(Nectar of Devotion).

Sometimes the different names, forms, paraphernalia and transcendental qualities provoke fraternal love. For instance, Kṛṣṇa’s nice dress, His strongly built body, the all-auspicious symptoms on His body, His knowledge of different languages, His learned teachings in Bhagavad-gītā, His uncommon genius in all fields of endeavor, His exhibition of expert knowledge, His mercy, His chivalry, His behavior as a conjugal lover, His intelligence, His forgiveness, His attraction for all kinds of men, His opulence and His happiness—all provoke fraternal love.
The impetus to fraternal love upon seeing the associates of Kṛṣṇa in Vṛndāvana is also very natural, for their personal bodily features, their qualities and their dress are all equal to Kṛṣṇa’s. These associates are always happy in their service to Kṛṣṇa, and they are generally known as vayasyas, or friends of the same age.
(Nectar of Devotion).

A pure devotee’s attraction to Kṛṣṇa in conjugal love is called devotional service in conjugal love. Although such conjugal feelings are not at all material, there is some similarity between this spiritual love and material activities. Therefore, persons who are interested only in material activities are unable to understand this spiritual conjugal love, and these devotional reciprocations appear very mysterious to them. Rūpa Gosvāmī therefore describes conjugal love very briefly.
(Nectar of Devotion).

The impetuses of conjugal love are Kṛṣṇa and His very dear consorts, such as Rādhārāṇī and Her immediate associates. Lord Kṛṣṇa has no rival; no one is equal to Him, and no one is greater than Him. His beauty is also without any rival, and because He excels all others in the pastimes of conjugal love, He is the original object of all conjugal love.
In the Gīta-govinda, by Jayadeva Gosvāmī, one gopī tells her friend, “Kṛṣṇa is the reservoir of all pleasure within this universe. His body is as soft as the lotus flower. And His free behavior with the gopīs, which appears exactly like a young boy’s attraction to a young girl, is a subject matter of transcendental conjugal love.” A pure devotee follows in the footsteps of the gopīs and worships the gopīs as follows: “Let me offer my respectful obeisances to all the young cowherd girls, whose bodily features are so attractive. Simply by their beautiful attractive features they are worshiping the Supreme Personality of Godhead, Kṛṣṇa.” Out of all the young gopīs, Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī is the most prominent.
(Nectar of Devotion).

In the Padyāvalī of Rūpa Gosvāmī it is stated that when the gopīs hear the sound of Kṛṣṇa’s flute, they immediately forget all rebukes offered by the elderly members of their families. They forget their defamation and the harsh behavior of their husbands. Their only thought is to go out in search of Kṛṣṇa. When the gopīs meet Kṛṣṇa, the display of their exchanging glances as well as their joking and laughing behavior is called anubhāva, or subecstasy in conjugal love.
(Nectar of Devotion).

The steady ecstasy of conjugal love is the original cause of bodily enjoyment. In the Padyāvalī this original cause of union is described when Rādhārāṇī tells one of Her constant companions, “My dear friend, who is this boy whose eyelids, dancing constantly, have increased the beauty of His face and attracted My desire for conjugal love? His ears are decorated with buds of aśoka flowers, and He has dressed Himself in yellow robes. By the sound of His flute, this boy has already made Me impatient.”
(Nectar of Devotion).

The conjugal love of Rādhā-Kṛṣṇa is never disturbed by any personal consideration. The undisturbed nature of the conjugal love between Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa is described thus: “Just a little distance away from Kṛṣṇa was mother Yaśodā, and Kṛṣṇa was surrounded by all of His friends. In front of His eyes was Candrāvalī, and, at the same time, on a chunk of stone in front of the entrance to Vraja stood the demon known as Vṛṣāsura. But even in such circumstances, when Kṛṣṇa saw Rādhārāṇī standing just behind a bush of many creepers, immediately His beautiful eyebrows moved just like lightning toward Her.”
(Nectar of Devotion).

Conjugal love is divided into two portions: vipralambha, or conjugal love in separation, and sambhoga, or conjugal love in direct contact. Vipralambha, separation, has three subdivisions, known as (1) pūrvarāga, or preliminary attraction, (2) māna, or seeming anger, and (3) pravāsa, or separation by distance.
When the lover and the beloved have a distinct feeling of not meeting each other, that stage is called pūrva-rāga, or preliminary attraction. In Padyāvalī Rādhārāṇī told Her companion, “My dear friend, I was just going to the bank of the Yamunā, and all of a sudden a very nice boy whose complexion is like a dark blue cloud became visible in front of My eyes. He glanced over Me in a way that I cannot describe. But since this has occurred, I am sorry that I can no longer engage My mind in the duties of My household affairs.” This is an instance of preliminary attraction for Kṛṣṇa. In Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam, Tenth Canto, Fifty-third Chapter, verse 2, Kṛṣṇa told the messenger brāhmaṇa who came from Rukmiṇī, “My dear brāhmaṇa, just like Rukmiṇī I cannot sleep at night, and My mind is always fixed on her.
(Nectar of Devotion).

The following is an example of a mixture of conjugal love and laughter in devotional service. Kṛṣṇa, in the dress of a young girl, told Rādhārāṇī, “Oh, You hardhearted girl! Don’t You know that I am Your sister? Why are You unable to recognize Me? Be merciful upon Me and please capture My shoulders and embrace Me with love!” While Kṛṣṇa was dressed up exactly like Rādhārāṇī, He was speaking these nice words, and Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī could understand His purpose. But because She was in front of many of Her superiors, She simply smiled and did not say anything. In this instance, the ecstasy of conjugal love is taken as the whole, and the ecstasy of laughter is taken as the part.
(Nectar of Devotion).

Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī was once told that although She had stopped all activities, She was still the supreme source of inspiration for all kinds of devotional service. The statement says, “My dear Rādhārāṇī, in separation from Kṛṣṇa You are now as still as the most beautiful tree, whose gracefulness is not blocked by any covering of leaves. Your tranquil mood makes You appear to be completely merged in Brahman realization!” In this example there is a mixture of conjugal love and neutral love, but the conjugal love has surpassed everything. Actually, Brahman realization is only a stunted existence. There is the following statement by Kṛṣṇa Himself: “Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī has become peace personified for Me. Because of Her, I now go without sleep. I stare constantly without blinking My eyes, and I am always in a meditative mood. Because of Her I have even made My home in the cave of a mountain!” This is an example of conjugal love mixed with neutral love, but there is no incompatibility.
(Nectar of Devotion).

The gopīs used to discuss Kṛṣṇa amongst themselves, and their talks were as follows. “My dear friends,” one gopī said, “do you know that when Kṛṣṇa lies on the ground He rests on His left elbow, and His head rests on His left hand? He moves His attractive eyebrows while playing His flute with His delicate fingers, and the sound He produces creates such a nice atmosphere that the denizens of the heavenly planets, who travel in space with their wives and beloveds, stop their airplanes, for they are stunned by the vibration of the flute. The wives of the demigods who are seated in the planes then become very much ashamed of their singing and musical qualifications. Not only that, but they become afflicted with conjugal love, and their hair and tight clothes immediately loosen.”
(Krsna Book).

After satisfying Kubjā with sweet words, Kṛṣṇa returned home with Uddhava. There is a warning in Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam that Kṛṣṇa is not very easily worshiped, for He is the Supreme Personality of Godhead, the chief among the viṣṇu-tattvas. To worship Kṛṣṇa or have association with Him is not very easy. Specifically, there is a warning for devotees attracted to Kṛṣṇa through conjugal love: it is not good for them to desire sense gratification by direct association with Kṛṣṇa. Actually, the activities of sense gratification are material. In the spiritual world there are symptoms like kissing and embracing, but there is no sense-gratificatory process as it exists in the material world. This warning is specifically for those known as sahajiyās, who take it for granted that Kṛṣṇa is an ordinary human being. They desire to enjoy sex life with Him in a perverted way. In a spiritual relationship, sense gratification is most insignificant. Anyone who desires a relationship of perverted sense gratification with Kṛṣṇa must be considered less intelligent. His mentality requires to be reformed.
(Krsna Book).

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